Impostor Syndrome

What seems to be a hot topic these days, and sometimes a buzzword, is Impostor Syndrome. Especially for me at this season in my life where I’m about to become a father, am pursuing a corporate career and trying to “climb the ladder”, and participate in a sport where you get to toe the line with the literally the best in the world at any given trail race. I’m constantly surrounded by people who have done things significantly longer than me and are more than likely a lot better than I am. It’s a scary feeling that lead to paralysis, anxiety, taking less risks, and all these things leads to a life less lived. So, here we are to unpack why I think Impostor Syndrome is a good thing, and why we should all lean into it!

What Is It?

Miss Webster believes that Impostor Syndrome is being in a room with people who know more about, or are better at, whatever it is you are there for, or at least you think this way and therefor don’t believe you belong. Essentially it’s that you feel you are faking it, aka an impostor. I resonate very heavily with this definition but I do believe it shows up in more subtle ways that are harder to understand. Looking closer at the “don’t believe you belong” statement, I think a lot of people feel this way in our ever connected world. Have you ever ‘scrolled the gram’ and seen some person you barely know doing crafts with their child, leading you to wonder if you’re some horrible parent because you aren’t doing that? Yea, that’s Impostor Syndrome.

My Impostor Syndrome

There are a couple of specific areas in my life where I’ve noticed Impostor Syndrome impact how I feel and act. What we’ll get into in the coming sections is how Impostor Syndrome is actually a GOOD THING if you use it wisely and understand where it falls in the lifecycle of new opportunities. But back to me feeling like a phony pony.

The first area was in CrossFit. I’ll never forget my first class workout at CrossFit Kilo. I was with the “average joes”, half the guys lifted more than me, and I got last in a pull-up and running workout. Stuff I wasn’t even bad at! As you can imagine, the competitors had an even larger gap on me and it was demoralizing. However, this was my first realization that people usually don’t care where you’re at in your journey if you’re coachable, curious, and you show up every single day to work your butt off. Journeys are long, they take persistence, and there's usually a team of people who want to see you succeed. The key is being honest with yourself and those around you about what you are trying to achieve and the rest will eventually come.

The other area that still impacts me today and I imagine impacts a lot of people is the corporate world. I’ll be honest, I want to lead very large teams or even a company one day, which by default means I want to be a CFO, GM, or even CEO. To achieve that I know I need to optimize my experiences and structure my career to accelerate vertically when it makes sense. What that often causes is being put in roles and situations where you’re surrounded by people both more senior than you who are the best of the best and by people who are peers but seem to be leagues ahead of you. I used to really struggle here feeling like I knew absolutely nothing and it frustrated me to no end. In the next section we’ll fully unpack the “Opportunity Life Cycle” and how this is actually necessary for growth, but more importantly I also realized you need to give yourself some grace. In my most recent role I was extremely annoyed that I felt I couldn’t contribute or add value because I didn’t know enough. I had a mentor tell me this exact thing, to give myself grace. No one moving into a brand new area at any level knows everything. There’s always a learning curve and that could be anywhere from 3-6 months. Be patient in that period, ask questions, be teachable, and “play the new guy card”. Trust me, honoring that window to learn will expedite the learning curve and then allow you to add value a lot faster than trying to white knuckle results with half the knowledge.

Seeking Impostor Syndrome

So now we’ve laid out some broad examples where Impostor Syndrome might rear it’s ugly head and also some specific examples where it’s impacted me personally. What I haven’t mentioned yet is how I now value this feeling and know I’m the right place when I do feel it. The key is to honor it, accept it, then create a plan to prioritize what is essential to move forward as efficiently as possible. Once you do this, it can no longer take you hostage.

Impostor Syndrome feeds growth if we harness it as a tool and develop ways to navigate the “season” in order to come out the other side with tremendous growth. I view each new role or opportunity in a 'Time x Growth' matrix. There are 4 important stages in the matrix to take notice of, each lasting a different amount of time, and each providing a different amount of growth. As we enter a new opportunity the first stage is the “Infant” stage. There’s strong growth here but it’s more than likely the shortest of the four. When everything is new there is too much going on to feel like you aren’t contributing. In fact, most new opportunities you aren’t expected to even own your personal deliverables for a couple of weeks. Those couple of weeks are a crash course of all the basics and getting up to speed.

Next we move into sitting with the beast, “Impostor Syndrome”. This stage lasts anywhere from 3-6 months in my experience and provides minimal growth. Yes, I said minimal growth and I actually believe we don’t grow in this stage. I view it sort of like a caterpillar being in it’s cocoon. We’re on this journey, putting in the hours, drinking from the fire hose, waiting for the next stage, “Confidence”. The most magical feeling in the world is when stuff starts to click and you feel confident in the work you are doing. Honestly, think back to the last time you finally nailed a project or presentation for the first time in a new role. It was like you

leveled up wasn’t it?! Here we can spend anywhere from 3 months to a couple years depending on the role/opportunity and also how much time you’re looking to invest in optimizing the experience. This is also where growth can catapult you to the moon. Confidence is a catalyst for growth because we can finally work on deeper levels of analysis, larger projects requiring a broader understanding of all the moving pieces, and where you get opportunities to show your work to leaders. Sit here as long as you can and reap the benefits of being deliberate during your period of feeling like an impostor. Be careful though, sitting in this stage too long can have its downsides.

The final stop is what I refer to as the “Ego” stage. All too often we see people who’ve been in a role for 10 years, they know everything, and long story short, are generally an a-hole. Don’t be this person. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being in a role that long, but you need to be specific on how you’re challenging yourself to continue learning and growing. The whole point of the 'Time x Growth' matrix is to show how we grow over the time period of being in ONE role. What the matrix doesn’t show is how growth, which can be viewed many different ways, is the fuel for happiness, fulfillment, and overall satisfaction in the workplace. If we get to a point in our roles where we think we know everything and are content not seeking discomfort through challenging new projects or responsibilities, our ego’s start to take control and we become the old guy no one likes to work with. So, back to the original point of this entire article, Impostor Syndrome is a GOOD THING. It’s a tool in your toolbox. When you catch yourself moving from “Confidence” to “Ego”, it’s time to go hunting for that next opportunity.

Be Purposeful and Specific

The last thing I will leave you with is how I view you should consider implementing this perspective into your life. Before going all in and finding the next big scary thing to throw yourself at because Derrick told you too, I encourage you to do some reflecting. What are your values and goals at this moment as it relates to your purpose? Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 25+ years? Understanding those questions allow you to work backwards to today. Then you’ll have an idea of what you might consider throwing yourself at and where you need to grow. Find the priority #1 and just jump without the fear of drowning. The crazy thing about the fear of drowning is that our natural human instincts actually lead us to float and paddle to safety if we don’t let our fear get in the way. Don’t believe me, YouTube videos of infants being thrown into pools (please don't call CPS on me). They don’t have fear because they don’t even know what’s going on. So again, JUMP. I promise you’ll come out the other side shining brighter than you could have ever imagined.

Let's Love and Grow Together.

- DDD